only YOU can prevent forest fires.

i'm getting ready. i'm getting ready to go out. i'm getting ready to black out. i'm off tomorrow, and this is how fucked up works. i exercised again tonight. but i can't wait to poison myself with cigarettes and booze. maybe i can take it a little easy. maybe. so i'm going to see phil collins on saturday, i cannot wait. This is like the culmination of every moment in my life spearheading to this one moment. i probably said the same shit when i saw conor, but i can see conor again. I will never see phil collins after this performance. this is it. from here on out, i'm one of the few. the ones who have seen phil collins in person. i want to be someone's phil collins. I want for people to be as excited to see me perform someday, somewhere. eh, or not. it's kind of a lost cause. after this record i think i'm gonna stop with all of it. I'm going to swan song with this one. But don't worry, the songs are some of the most honest, heartfelt i have ever written. so you can wrap yrself in them like a blanket everytime you are cold. or you can call me up, and i will come over and play them for you until you fall asleep. i just turned around to find my dog with his nose burried beneath the couch, trying to get something he just couldn't reach. I went over to help him out, and i remembered that the other night i was sweeping and i saw a piece of rawhide that had his name all over it. not litterally, it's just something he would really like. moving on, i pulled him away and reached my paw under to find it for him. It was covered with his hair, so i cleaned it off, gave him a kiss on the head, and offered it to him. he took it, with much appreciation, and is now calling it his own. He is laying below a television beaming a muted episode of king of the hill out. I'm sure he would rather be watching the animal channel, or lassie, or turner and hooch, but this is what he has to work with. he seems really content, and this is the life he has. he is happy just to hang out on the couch with me. he is so happy when i come home. he can't wait to get the last of whatever i am eating. he makes me happy. i just typed that only to find out it is true. i thought it would be some silly thing i said without a second thought, but i am really happy just to have him around. while i play vice city he lays beside me, while i watch dating shows, he looks on, almost saying "how can you watch this"? He has the rare ability to make me happy, and i take it for granted. well not anymore, he is one of the few. not anymore. he is one of the few.