my pretend pretension.

i'm sorry for my optimism. it is sickening. I just feel bad for writing things like that. and then i have to go back and re-write/edit/burn the evidence. i guess i just don't know. i just feel like being really private now. i don't want to give any of my secrets away. cause after everything and all the world, or whatevr that bullshit was i was talking about, my secrets are the only thing i really own.