if the silence takes you, then i hope it takes me too.

yikes. today was shockingly uninteresting blob. I spent way too much time importing new tunes so i could have stuff to listen to in the next few days. I have to get myself psyched up to get a second job, you know. i want to work a lot to make more money, i guess. i don't know. I don't do anything else, and only work like 30-36 hours. between my car payment, insurance, cell phone, credit cards, movie pass and alcohol, i hardly have two dimes to rub together. thats all gonna change though. $$$ is on the way. big time. There are a lot of super sweet movies coming out in the next few weeks. it seems like all summer there were only a few i gave a rip about, but now theres plenty of white hot stuff coming out. they probably won't be out here for a while, but soon, hopefully. and good shows and new albums too! i can hardly contain myself. so this song i'm listening to right now. it was/is my song of the summer. and i got to hear it live a few weeks ago. i was pretty drunk in a city i don't know all that well, but love more than most as of now. anywho, i'm in the sweltering heat, drinking, sweating and not having that much fun watching this band, but then they pull it out. I'm not going to get into how much it meant to me, cause it's not for everyone. okay, it's for all you guys. it is, but i just don't want you to think i'm sensitive is all. that is one thing a young man cannot have over his head. and just now i'm thinking back to that time where i danced awkwardly to a song i have heard more times than i could count. in some huge beautiful building where beautiful people did beautiful things. it was cold then, i think even icing a bit. it was documented for film and things fell together. i wanted to tell my secrets. all of them. i wanted to whisper the easy ones, just to scream the buried ones off some roof. that bent stairwell. where the sad kids sat holding each other with one arm and a drink with the other. layers shed. it seems like years now, and true, it will be cold again before we know it. i might be back there. i will see the same kids. i might be wearing the same outfit i was photographed in all those months ago. i might drink the same drinks. i might say the same things to any one of you. or i could do everything differently. i could do the things run on sentences are made of. instrumental songs are written for. lights get dimmer. breath gets shorter. and we get a little older, just waiting. well waiting is fine. i'll be here. that chair is still warm. that song is still playing. for us.