wrong hometown.

so i know, i know. i used to update this all the time with all sorts of nonsense, but i've been lazy lately. Not lazy, just busy. and not in the mood to get on here, and i don't have constant access to internet these days as well. but hey, whatever. Let's get this ball rolling. i left work hours early today. I just couldn't be there today. I was like a zombie. i came home and ate a veggie burger and fell asleep for hours. then i got up and here i am. not too exciting. i think i got on here thinking i would talk about something interesting, but i just can't do it. Man, my stomach is killing me. i forgot how much i liked that promise ring record "nothing feels good". It's a good listen, eh? i gotta go.

and then there were 2. (two)

what a great day! i mean really, i feel great today. just one good thing after another. I woke up early and layed around for about an hour. At one point sarah goes "i'm going in twenty minutes, you should start getting ready", to which i replied "twenty minutes? i can be ready in two!" So after that i came home and got ready to go to work, where i listened to some sweet jams i hadn't heard in a while. After that i found out i could go home early. than i found out i got $100 bonus on my check!! i know, right? SO sweet. Than i had a healthy and delicious dinner and bought some groceries. Now i'm just kinda killing time until best day part 3 kicks off. I figure why not? this day has been on so far. And you said yourself last night, one night on one night off when it comes to partying. That would mean tonight is party night, since we went to bed at like 11:30 last night. any-who, i hope your day all went as bitchin' as mine has. i'll rap at ya later. take care.

busy bee, come back to me.

for one second right when i was about to start typing i couldn't remember anything about this day. I couldn't even remember if i worked (which i did). weird. although these days are filled and are only puncuated by no more than four or five hours of actual sleep. and oh, those drinks. oh well. we may have gone easy on our selves last night. no such luck with this one. this one has our names spelled out, and those poured. so there that is. oh wait, we flaked on that movie. we'll get around to it someday. my mom told me she is really happy that i'm washing my hair again. for a long time i didn't. and when i say a long time, i mean like months. i was still showering and all, i just wasn't washing my hair. i thought it looked good, much to the dismay of anyone near me. That's all over now, don't worry. I'm into trying to keep my act together, to some extent. In a sorta false way. but all that is in the past. this is now. back to that night. when that movie was played out. and here it is again. in some different room. but all those same great ideas. so to y' all, have a fun night/and all of your days.

the shape, my god, the shape.

so here, after all those months. big eyes and $$$ (dollar signs). for all the fucking life of me i could throw my body right out to the wolves. i've heard them out in those woods from the very day i moved my bags into this house. they wait, their baited breath hanging on the air like fog lifting from the hills. those same hills that line the way all the way to your house. But here they wait. but either way, i've been saying the same things for each night into the dark and thinking, "yeah, here is exactly how it goes, i've got it". But i guess now i just feel it like the weather pounding even with that fucking sun beaming in and keeping me from sleep. i guess, when you get up close to it, what i'm really saying is, I just feel like everything else is just periphery. laying out on the highway. all those big ideas. those roads that stretch the length of all my insides. be it: 74 to 275 to 70 to an idea of the past or 74 to 75 to 471 to the idea of you. you.

everything's eclipsed by the shape of destiny.

what a night. day/ whatever. It sucked all day really. Aside from listening to some new music my day was a wash. in and out of sleep. waiting and nothing else. and this eve when i was too ill. all my soldiers stood down and let all those wild eyes germs slip in. but with some sleep and all those good intentions i shall be found well tomorrow. cause yeah, i can't wait to see you. you and no one else. you and some beautiful late nights. those absurd early days. those mornings when i wake up and you are still so close. i'll get better with all that in mind. my tired eyes and that swollen breeze. snuck in got tucked in, so fucked up just wishing. there ain't much left till our days are spent in each other's arms, baby. tuesday is only a day. we'll get there eventually. and i miss you like crazy. my tomorrow will be spent just wondering. where and how you are. i hope so well, so good. for everything. x and o. x and o.