trying is the first step towards failure.

i think i'm done with the book idea. It is more than a little obvious i am not a writer. It basically came off sounding like a slighty more insightful version of this blog. Maybe less swear words. At any rate, it's a good idea to just stop now. I don't really want to play guitar anymore either. I just don't have the desire i had at one time. I used to like playing guitar, but now it's more like a chore. That doesn't leave much, i don't really know what i will fill my time with. Maybe i'll just read more, who knows? I finished the new david sedaris today, i think it was really good. I was laughing out loud while i was reading at the hospital which i'm sure everyone appreciated. I am going to be a hermit for a while i think. I have a lot of little projects to work on, and i think i spend to much $$$ on booze anyway. I got a new haircut from Abby which looks really nice. I may post a picture tommorrow. Thanks again, for real. A forty for a haircut is a steal any way you look at it. I think i am going to erase everything off of my computer and start over. I've already started saving the stuff i am going to need. I have one data CD full of bright eyes rarities and live stuff. And half of another one with bright eyes live and postal service and ben gibbard live. I really like the new kings of convenience record. Thanks so much erika, in fact its on in my house right now. I'm going to buy a cowboy shirt i found. It fits me like a glove. Sometimes i like to watch scary movies. I still have yet to take my six feet under dvds off the shelf. I've been watching serendipity. And training day. Both were really good. I ate some indian food today. today is the greatest day i've ever known.

love will come through

i had a big day, i woke up and hung out with jamie for what might be the last time. He is making his way east, and i wish him well. I found six feet under seasons one and two for $22.99 a piece!!!!! I couldn't believe my eyes. Them shits are 90 bucks normally. It was just great. I then came home and worked out. I had been thinking about trying to run five miles instead of my normal 3, so today was the day. And i did it, i didn't think i was going to be able to, but i pulled through and went five miles. I then made a sandwich and had some veggie nuggets. I am now getting ready to watch serendipity, which i checked out from the library. I don't know why, i've been bummed out enough lately, and the last time i saw it it ruined my weekend. I guess i just need to be more bummed out, and serendipity is a great way. Or maybe i'm an emotional nerd who makes too much out of movies. I'm going to get going now, but i hope your day was as fun as mine.

nothing holds a candle to you.

so i saw the movie i have waited months and months and months to see. I went into it knowing it would bum me out, and make me wish for a bunch of shit that can't happen outside of some sound stage, or a movie set. here. go see it, do yourself a fucking favor. i dont want to type anymore.

pinned here. crushed here.

in retrospect the crush was a poor idea. It occured to me while on the phone tonight. Well, not entirely, but i admitted it was a poor idea. I realized it wasn't a hot idea in the last couple days. Whatevr. i know you don't care, but i just wanted to clarify the way it is/i am/will be. I think its for the best this way. I can make it seem poetic when in fact it is pretty pathetic. more than a little pathetic i think, but this is what i signed into, so i can't be all that bummed out. I can just start writing a bunch of songs that sound the same all about it. How totally awesome and shit. In news that is way more rad bright eyes have 2 new albums coming out in january. I'm so psyched. One album of more folky traditional music, and then one of more poppy experimental stuff. I really can hardly wait. Oh well, until i have something to rant about, take care.

i can watch the boats come in.

so i'm really just writing in here to get the old creative juices flowing. I am getting ready to write a new chapter in the old book. It is going to be intensly personal and open and all that shit. I'm also working on a review to submit to pitchfork to try to be a reviewer for them. I am really excited about it, but i hope it doesn't suck. Whatever. I think i'm just gonna get down to business. Oh, and i was in a photoshoot today and did some modeling. Fun times. I need to do it more often. And the book has a name now, but i'm not putting it in here, cause bitches will steal it. It's such a good name. You'll love it to death.

i'll take you with me to my grave.

oh dear, dear. i didn't do anything fun all weekend really. I didn't go out either night. I watched television and played tony hawk. I'm so lame now. I am wearing dress pants right now. They are an interesting change from the girls jeans i wear every other day. My hair looks so bad now, it needs to grow out, but it won't work. It needs to grow faster or something. I need to get to something. I need to stop writing shit like that. I need to focu son the book more, i feel like i'm losing momentum on it, and i don't want to. The village is great, no matter what you hear. I really really like it. I got to talk to tim kasher while i was in st. louis. I was so nervous. Not as nervous as the time i met blair from knapsack. I was like a school girl that time. I thought about this earlier today. "a heart thats full up like a landfill, a job that slowly kills you, bruises that won't heal". I really like those lyrics a lot. I have so many subway stamps. They are fucking evrywhere. I love indian food. I can't wait to eat some wednesday. I got another modeling job. It is on wednesday as well (as well as the indian food i mean). It may or may not be fun. Time will tell. Wish me well with my crush. Or wish me to shut the fuck up about it. please.

no one reads this fucker anyway.

so i'm back. i don't know where to start, so i don't think i will. i went to the good life show, spent a lot of money. got drunk that night. woke up the next day and went shopping. some guy tried to pick me up at vintage vinyl. i bought simpsons season 3, family guy vol 2, statistics EP, 4 bagels and beer that day. went to a party that night. got drunk. drove around the next day, blah blah blah, ugh. this is fucking awful. i promise if you buy my book it's so fun!! it's nothing like this. Why am i convinced people give a shit about what i spend my money on? i saw a wedding. congrats. I have only the best wishes for both of you. when i'm not so bummed out i'll write a real account, but for now this is it. but no one is reading anyway. what difference does it make? i ate a great burrito while i was there!