and he is soooo amazing.

right. right, some celebrity. i'll throw myself down too. i'll cut it off. please. please. my word. just listen to me. cause maybe tonight that is all i need. yeah we yeah we play dress up we fuck up the whole order now. if you can't see through me by now you just ain't lookin' hard enough. cause here is my sound: (imagine) it might lie there. (static) it might sleep there. (age) it is inherent. and you've never seemed so foolish. my patience. it's apparent. or is it the climate? either way, you have me hard. i love your sound. just now a little louder. i can hardly hear the noise. some clatter. where can i find some square inch just to matter? you corner the market. some isolated blood. i just couldn't sleep without you knowing. i'm just so impressed. sleep well. he will be here for our fur soon enough. sleep well. they'll skin us alive.

97.3, cincinnati's home for new rock. By which i mean shit i bought at target when i was twelve.

i slept later than i thought i would today. just a little before 12.00. I'm waiting to get some indian food here in about half and hour or so. my stomach has been in knots lately. and i don't know why. the other day i was sitting having some dinner with my family, and i got up and ran into the bathroom and starting vomiting. now y' all know i love vomiting, but generally from drinking, or to entertain friends. this was niether. I felt pretty off for a while after, but whatever. it's probably all the drugs i take all the time. or the diet pills i take to look this way, who is to say? i went and saw the forty year old virgin. it was good, but show me someone who thought it wouldn't be. Steve Carell is so on in anything he does. Anyone who doesn't have shit for brains should check this new dude out. He's even on myspace, so all us hipsters can listen while we update our shit and change our pictures. LINK---> http://myspace.com/davedeporis. For real, if you like devendra banhart or jeff buckley give this a listen. I'm not kidding, you want to be able to say you liked him before he blew up, thats all that matters. I don't even really like it, i just think it might get popular, so i wanted to let everyone know. i feel too weak to keep writing, so i'm going to go do my hair and get out of here. have a great fucking day.

if the silence takes you, then i hope it takes me too.

yikes. today was shockingly uninteresting blob. I spent way too much time importing new tunes so i could have stuff to listen to in the next few days. I have to get myself psyched up to get a second job, you know. i want to work a lot to make more money, i guess. i don't know. I don't do anything else, and only work like 30-36 hours. between my car payment, insurance, cell phone, credit cards, movie pass and alcohol, i hardly have two dimes to rub together. thats all gonna change though. $$$ is on the way. big time. There are a lot of super sweet movies coming out in the next few weeks. it seems like all summer there were only a few i gave a rip about, but now theres plenty of white hot stuff coming out. they probably won't be out here for a while, but soon, hopefully. and good shows and new albums too! i can hardly contain myself. so this song i'm listening to right now. it was/is my song of the summer. and i got to hear it live a few weeks ago. i was pretty drunk in a city i don't know all that well, but love more than most as of now. anywho, i'm in the sweltering heat, drinking, sweating and not having that much fun watching this band, but then they pull it out. I'm not going to get into how much it meant to me, cause it's not for everyone. okay, it's for all you guys. it is, but i just don't want you to think i'm sensitive is all. that is one thing a young man cannot have over his head. and just now i'm thinking back to that time where i danced awkwardly to a song i have heard more times than i could count. in some huge beautiful building where beautiful people did beautiful things. it was cold then, i think even icing a bit. it was documented for film and things fell together. i wanted to tell my secrets. all of them. i wanted to whisper the easy ones, just to scream the buried ones off some roof. that bent stairwell. where the sad kids sat holding each other with one arm and a drink with the other. layers shed. it seems like years now, and true, it will be cold again before we know it. i might be back there. i will see the same kids. i might be wearing the same outfit i was photographed in all those months ago. i might drink the same drinks. i might say the same things to any one of you. or i could do everything differently. i could do the things run on sentences are made of. instrumental songs are written for. lights get dimmer. breath gets shorter. and we get a little older, just waiting. well waiting is fine. i'll be here. that chair is still warm. that song is still playing. for us.

the future, wouldn't that be n

man, i just saw a picture and it got me thinking. I know sometimes when it's freezing out and you can't feel your hands and you're shaking and all that shit you're probably thinking "man, this sucks i want the summer back". But think about right now. It's so hot even when the sun is out and whatever you can't go out. Your face will melt off, and if you even think about doing something physical you might as well punch your own dick, cause thats about as much fun as you'll have. I want the weather of jean jackets and scarves. Like october or november. Not insane, just nice and you don't have to worry about what to wear, cause you can't wear too much. Sure, you might have to drink at night or sit on a stove just to feel something, but that's how the cards fall. Well anywho. I gotta run. have fun with your everything.

and sometimes the big time fucks with you.

boys, don't let the facts get in the way. it's good to feel better. For a while there i was really in the dumps. i had strepp throat and a bad fever and lost a bunch of weight. I was fully dressed, under blankets, shivering all night. It was bad news, but i'm better now. ready to see emily while she is around, and party with sarah and meredith. It's been a while, so i've got some catching up to do. I get paid tomorrow, so thats fun. I'm also on the road to wellness, so there that is. Or, if that's not enough of a movie reference, "that's that, mattress man". Both will work. do you know what they are? i bet. you're of a descerning taste, that's why you read this blog. I'm pretty excited for new stuff coming out. New minus the bear, death cab, sigur ros, saddle-creek dvd. It's off the hook! All day i have had this craving to play tony hawk underground 2. I have no idea why. The more i think about it, the more i think aqua teen hunger force is my favorite show on tv. I mean, hilarious! right? right. oh well, i gotta run. i'm trying to land a gap to 50-50, shove it to bs 50-50 on my desk. busy busy. take care, y' all.

a little lighter, a dimming.

as soon as i get done dying, it's to you i am running. as soon as i sleep more than 2 hours a night. as soon as the pills are over. as soon as i'm not freezing. cause i'm freezing.