in st louis i got real drunk with old high school friends and threw up in a bathroom that had no doors or walls on the stalls and an old man walked in and told me to "just let it go". Needless to say it was fucking beautiful. i got a great new hat and am reading a book i really like. i'm back now in cin cin and yeah.
oh man, so much really fun stuff has happened. you wouldn't even believe it. The other day me and jamie went record shopping and then we went to the comet to shoot some pool. We turn the corner and this group of kids is on the street and they turn around and start yelling "look at these nerds!!!!". I didn't quite know what to think so i just kept walking and another one goes "look at dudes pants!!!", talking to me, and "you motherfuckin' ugly". We then walked inside and they stayed out but one opened the door and starts yelling "FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and the dude wokring told them to leave. It was so....something i guess. Then another time we went and hit golfballs. and then this other time me and jamie pulled up next to this dude in an SUV and jamie is sitting shotgun and the dude is on my side. Jamie looks over and goes "What the fuck you lookin' at?!?!?!?!?" and flips him off. then we saw a kid drink everlear and throw up out a window. Then jamie got so rowdy and threw me on the ground and we were covered in fake blood and i think i really hurt some ribs and my shoulder is scabbed. i went and saw eternal sunshine of the spotless mind again today. The timing was perfect. Me and erika ate at amol, and we were talking about how it sucks that it doesn't come out to own until sept 28th. Then we were talking about how we should go see it again, so i grabbed a city beat and there was a showing in 15 minutes. So good, i noticed a few things that flew over my head the first time. I was going to just tell you what it was, but if you haven't seen it i don't want to ruin it. Just please go see it, it is either ruining my life or making it way better. I still can't tell. i am excited for the new wilco record. and reno 911. and september 28th. and everything else. i'm just excited, for the sake of being excited. i don't have much else to say, but i will try to update this thing more often. I will try to make it fun or something. Take care.
day i had written this really cool post, about how i didn't really mean the shit i said about being a model. About this really funny thing about how if i come up to you and i'm drunk to tell me to stop, and all this really funny stuff. To my dismay, it was all lost when i tried posting it. bummer. but anyway, whatever. you can imagine. i'm making a mix tape right now, i'm excited to drive around and listen to it. I might go to an after party for the aveda show this evening. It sounds like a super fun time, but i have no idea. i really have nothing original to say, so i don't know what i intend to fill this space with. how about this, i will cut this short. i won't go on and on about stupid bullshit. about how i think anyone cares i am making a mixtape. why do i have this stupid thing? why do i think anyone cares about what i fucking eat? or what tv shows i like? or how i can't wait to see some movie that i won't tell you the name of? am i really that naive? do i think you care? the answer is no. why do any of us have these things? can you tell me? i doubt it. i said i was going to keep this short, i'm sorry.
i guess you had to find me here. I've been so predictable thus far, why change now? i've been so easy to figure out, why change now? shit, i'm even listening to bright eyes right now. Who'da thunk it? I know, for real. i'm totally listening to bright eyes, and all these other fucking buzz bands. fireworks. they lit up the windows years ago. on some second story, we both were so lonely. for something so much better. a change in the weather. driving under the influence, trying to be someone else. or be anywhere at all. okay, bright eyes just ended, but something equally pretentious of me has come on. i think i will go buy a shirt from urban outfitters tomorrow. we walked by it one time. i have to work tomorrow, but i'm a model now, so who cares? i say that with as much egotism as possible. because i'm a complete fuck face. just ask anyone. they will tell you how awful i am, how i love myself so much, and think i'm so cool. If you know me at all you know it's not true. you know how much i hate myself. could i ever be a writer? i highly doubt it. making the things i do sound interesting would be tricky. they are all so done before. I really just want some indian food. i really just want to buy a new record. i really just want someone to hold me and tell me it will be okay. thats from a movie, but not the kind you would expect of me. something a little different, but i was able to derive the necessary amount of self hatred from the script. yeah me. yeah me and Ernest Hemingway. that might be the name of the new record. It is for sure one of the new song titles, but maybe the name of the record. it works so well. no one can tell why, everyone can tell. betrayal. i just wanted to see if i could spell it. i consumed 3 total fat grams today. i ate fat free pringles and a bag of baked lays. here is to being awful. raise your fucking glasses. raise them like i do. get lost. get found. get fucked. this is me at my best. i. am. so. predictable.
i just watched a trailer for a movie that i can safely say is going to ruin my life. I can tell already. I'm going to talk about it for a really long time, than i'm going to see it and get all bummed out. I'm not going to tell you what movie it is, and i'm not going to be in this state when it comes out. I think i will go see it by myself. I think i will drink a lot of drinks, than take a taxi to the theatre, and see it. Maybe i will cry, maybe i will be completely unmoved, maybe i will leave the theatre, walk out onto the sidewalk and bump into the love of my life and never leave the place i'm going to be. Maybe all the things i really want are right in front of me. I can tell you are telling me. Do what you feel. And no, i won't tell you where i am going. I will just vanish. Don't worry though, i'm not going to find the love i was talking about before. It won't be where i am, so don't worry about it. I'll be back here as soon as you know it. Haunting the places i haunt every week. trying to find something real. and don't ask me what the movie is. please. please. please.