growing up, throwing up, and cabin pressure.

so sometimes, and not all the time. I=me. you=me. it is all relative. the thi3rd. person. third prison. man, i'm shaking with the weather. i can't wait to lay down. on to on. i felt really light and poetic tonight. brought down a peg, like i needed to be. a good hip check away from healthy. so go on, and who cares? i send notes with bad words. i take shallow breaths while it's there. and sometimes all i am is you in a post. scratched into the desk of the internet. remember me? i was thinking of escaping. teh camera catches it all. for fucks sake, can we live? HAHAHA. reading it out louud was

I-M-Pressed. goodness.goodnight.

so hey, i know it's been a while since i updated this bullshit. i've been busy though. i'm working again, lots. i think like 61 hours this week. it's casual though, i need the money, and the more i'm busy the better. i've been wanting to write about something big. i can't get my eyes or arms around it though. it's heavy shit, and not really meant for everyone. i just feel full up with one idea. the kind i want to hammer out, but what is the real difference? it would get skimmed, forgotten, and deemed unneccesary. not like a magazine. oh to be. if i could only. if i could. get the fuck out. like like like. bleeding split and cracked hands. my $$$'s spent up. trudt. <----not a mistake. it started as one though. i met a girl a hundred years ago. when i was fractured parts of a bigger ceramic bumble bee. layed out, pouting, on your bathroom tile. i couldn't breathe/like i can't breathe now. i hate it now. i love it how sometimes i get so fucking breathless. i get so filled with one melody. with walking fast through the wet bent wet grass. the sylables have to match up the brass. when the horns come in, my god. when they arive. independent! independant! has it come to this? have we aged at all? the bags below my eyes cry. really. are we sanding off edges that made the noise. are we coming up for air in the only pocket we could find? through the sound of the rocks i swear i could hear you, calling out. "away, my love". "go die for me, now!". go teach all the globes in the world that we are ignoring them. roll out the big red carpet, for this one time we can maybe find it. sometimes nothing matters in the world, except this one part of this one song. this is how i am. the end of the liner. onejet aboutabove. you can just lay back in your chair. in your blanket of love. i'll be around. or in how everyone forgot you. the city you are from is a ghost now. and i never felt more free. moving through my memories begging to be alive once, just once more. and now i'm living away. get those ghosts out. this isn't about love. be free in how much you get it. your past is quaking behind you. and as a city, i'm in love with that. as a boy, i love it. get on the road, just get out. my past is fucking off.